Writing workshop
PARTY COMP - THE WINNERS
There were more entries than ever in this writing comp, and the standard was very, very high. It took a long time to whittle down the longlist, then the shortlist… and finally choose the winners and runners-up. To everyone who entered, a HUGE well-done… and here are the results!
POETRY SECTION:
There are no less than FOUR equal winners in this category… there are some great poets out there! Here are the winners:
PIcnic Party by Billie Jones, age 12
Beneath the blossom tree,
Under shimmered ocean skies
Fingers of light streamed
Down on the birthday surprise.
Little girls ran through the meadow,
Towards the picnic buffet
The wind grew cold,
The sky moaned grey.
But still the party proceeded,
Laughter whistled through trees
White dresses smudged with dirt
Grass stains on their knees
Music woke the sleeping meadow,
The world became a stage.
And what I remember about that birthday,
Is how quickly the rain came.
Party Inside by Chelcie Henry-Robertson, age 14
Every time I see him
A party starts inside
Poppers explode inside of me
Far, near and wide
Every time he looks at me
Balloons float up to the sky
I then find myself floating too
Drifting right on by
Every time I think of him
The music’s up too high
My heart beat accelerates
Like a humming bird in the sky
Every time I dream of him
All I do is close my eyes
I see black, just black
But he then appears; surprise!
Every time he calls my name
He un-wraps a new piece of my heart
He fits together a jigsaw
A beautiful piece of art
Every time he goes away
The party ends, ‘go home’
I look down at the mess he’s made
After trampling on my soul
Beach Party by Sarah Bostock, age 12
Her party dress is gritty from the sand
that slides through her toes
She hears people calling her but stays
She watches the tide that comes and goes
The stars are her disco ball
The sea birds are her party guests
She dances along the old seawall
The gentle sounds of the waves
that lap at the shore are her music
And the seaweed that covers the coast
is all the decoration she needs
Her silent secret party taking her away
to a different place.
The tide washing away
her footprints and any human trace.
Her heart is a soft drumming beat
as she slides down onto the cold wet sand.
And gently holds a shooting star in her hand.
The Birthday Cake by Patrice McMullen, age 13
With Chocolate frosting,
and vanilla cream swirls,
pink rose buds,
and silvery pearls.
Fourteen blue candles,
and chocolate flakes,
blue twirls intertwined,
A shiny knife she takes.
Too many presents,
brand new shoes,
air guitars,
that sing the blues
new modern things,
ipod, cds, dreams coming true
birthday cards galore
everything, anything you wanted to do
A special birthday,
still months away
dreaming of birthday cakes, presents
and what you might say
If a special daydream
were to kiss you suprise
just after sunset,
underneath those rainbow skies.
RUNNERS UP: six equal runners-up, each unique and clever and very cool! Here they are:
My Way by Stacey R, age 12
Okay, it’s like this.
At a party
You have to hang with these people
and eat this
and say this
and listen to that music
and dance like this
and wear this
and come with that person
and laugh at that
and smile like this
and drink this
and wear your make up like that
and walk like this.
You know, stuff that
I’ll bring my friends
and I’ll dance like crazy
and I’ll laugh at what I want to
and I’ll listen to that music
I’ll eat my fave food
and drink non-diet stuff
and I’ll have fun
While all those perfects
don’t.
Alone by Charlotte Jones, age 13
Jam sponge, chocolate rolls
Wrapping paper, new dolls
Sticky fingers, food stains
Shouts and screams, paper planes
Ecstasy buzzing, toothless grins
Party games, donkey full of pins
Childish laughter, friendships blooming
The clock ticks on, the end looming
Careless thoughts, no one can hear
The child in the corner, silent with fear
Cheeks stained, a single tear
Excluded from the fun, the forgotten peer
Her invite lost, overlooked
Parties can be fun, something to remember
But there is always one, out of sight
The one who you didn’t think to invite…
You, Me x%x The Music by Jennifer Dines, age 14%
The lights swirl around
And my head is spinning
The world is a bright sky of music
And it’s pumping through my veins
I dance and I’m on my toes
When will it stop ?
You catch my arm
Take me onto the dance floor
And there is only me and you
This world of no rules
I forget who I am
I forget about life
We spin and spin
There are no hours
There is no time
Just us and the song
The morning will come
It will break the enchantment
But in our dreams
We are still spinning
Still dancing
Just you, me and the music…
Teenage Parties by Jessica Corrie, age 13
Teenage Parties!
Teenage parties!
Drink, drugs, kissing
Teenage parties !
You don’t know what you’re missing.
They’re so great
They’re so cool
They make you act
Like an idiotic fool
But its so worth it
‘cause they’re so great
Everyone talks to you
Like a real good mate.
… well that’s what I hear,
Too bad I’ve never actually
Been to one before.
Buffet Behaviour by Shannon Crichton, age 15
Glazed in honey were the golden tangerines
I knew from the start I would lick my plate clean
With the Dark Forest Gateux that centred the table
I’ll stop at my third slice if I’m only able
The raspberry crumble, the flavour so sweet
Everything at this party’s a mouthwatering treat
Dipping strawberries countless at the chocolate fondue
The caramel shortbread has nearly gone too
Forgetting the purpose of this posh get together
I tuck in to sponge cake as light as a feather
Cream drips from my plate and onto my dress
But I don’t really care – I’m already a mess!
Heart beating fast and I’m starting to dribble
Who would have thought I just came for a nibble?
Scoffing down thousands of chocolate eclairs
Covered in sauce, I ignore people’s stares
The party’s nearly over, guests start to head home
Chocolate truffles and cheesecake, in the handbag they go
I rush back to the buffet, as the fudge cake’s been sighted
I’m glad no one knows that I wasn’t invited
Midnight Party by Chanel Webb, age 10
The midnight sky is like a dance floor.
Stars dance around,
like dancers in a disco.
The moon keeps the party alive,
like a DJ.
The clounds stand by and keep the party safe.
The sun rises and says “Stop!”
But then it begins again…
STORY SECTION:
TWO overall winners stood out in this category… stories with fantastic dialogue, a strong voice and quirky, original style… check out the extracts…
Toby’s Playlist by Fleurie Crozier, age 15%
Just for a second, my heart skips a beat, and I glance at the calendar on the wall above me. I try not to normally, I really do.
30th of September. A year today, since my best friend was diagnosed with leukaemia.
She hasn’t mentioned the date. She never does, and it’s not as though I’m about to point it out. I just want this moment to be paused, to keep the laughing, smiling Nat clinging to my armchair as her ravaged body quakes with mirth. Just for a second, the tubes and plasters are gone, the headscarf tossed to one side. The eyes bright, the hair thick and wavy, probably held with a couple of butterfly clips. The rumpled hoody is gone, replaced with a Topshop dress, an oversized bag.
Nat laughs, and just for a second, the clock stops ticking.
Me, I just blink my eyes dry, and add a doodle of a birthday cake – complete with 16 candles – to the side of the list.
Birthday Girl by Lisette Moulton, age 11
In the kitchen, where Mom, Dad and Warren were deep in conversation, worried looks on their faces. I wanted to carry on, keep my feet thudding, persistently striding toward the hallway, to sit in wait for that knock on the door, that glimpse of inky hair…
“She said she was coming, didn’t she?” I heard Warren ask, his voice packed with uncertainty. I froze.
“Of course she did,” said Dad. “At eight p.m. Sure, it’s almost nine now, but you know our Precious. She’ll come through that door any second.”
“If she was gonna be this late, surely she would have called,” fretted Mom. “It looks like she won’t be coming after all… it’s a good job we kept it a surprise. Joannie can’t know about this – it’ll ruin her birthday. You know what Precious means to her.”
So that was it. Yet another disappointment, another let down. Just when I thought things really might work out…
I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry tears of agony, but I bit my tongue, knuckled my eyes.
Birthday girls don’t cry.
RUNNERS-UP: eight fantastic runners up, all showing real promise… extracts below: *
%(colour-c)The Prom by Jessica Frost, age 15 %
I stop thinking and crumble to my knees on the kicked-apart soil.
Everything I worked towards – destroyed, by a few stupid teens who didn’t see that my prom wasn’t just a party. It was more than that. Prom is a place for girls to rediscover themselves, to find that they are comfortable in their own bodies, maybe get their first guy, pull a first kiss.
Why don’t people think about how much hard work goes into planning prom? Into planning the night to remember? Why do some people have to ruin everything? Sometimes, I wish they’d stop and look at what they’re about to wreck before they do it.
Maybe, just maybe, they do have a heart – and the sight of dancing couples, laughing friends, fun – might just thaw it out.
Party by Katie Dent, age 12
The door swung open to reveal a terrifying scene – the stuff of nightmares.
Ghostly dancers were swirling around the room, chanting as they did so. Each of them had the same dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin and beautiful face. I recognised Gina among them, and Zoë, and Emily; girls from my school every one of them.
What were they? Vampires? I thought of Twilight. Yeah, that could work. Pale, beautiful, freaky dancing girls. Oh god.
I held up two fingers in the shape of a crucifix. ‘Don’t drink my blood!”
“She thinks we’re leeches,” one girl whispered in a silvery voice. She looked so frightening I wanted to run away to America. Or Pluto maybe.
“Welcome, Ola… to the sisterhood.”
My scream was so piercing it nearly burst my own eardrums. I was out of there, but not fast enough.
“Mortals,’ I heard them say, behind me. ‘They’re all the same…’
The Invitation by Charlotte Bygrave, age 11
I wake myself up. Trying to daydream your way through life won’t get you anywhere. Daydreaming is fine, but what about the important things? If you can’t pay the mortgage, how can you pretend that you can? When you get kicked out of your house and squeeze into a cardboard box, how can you try to think that it’s a full-size hotel just for you? I shudder. What’s the point? Why do I drag myself to school every day to be mocked and laughed at? I’m not going to dream anymore. From right now, this very moment, everything I do and say and think is real.
Suddenly, the phone rings…
Another Birthday by Lauren Haikney, age 15
In my lap there’s an army helmet, and the seventies jumper I always said was embarrassing: his two personae. I never knew the soldier. But I loved the father. A tear steals out of my eye and silently creeps down my cheek.
There won’t be a party this year, because every second of it would remind me of something he used to do, something that’s missing now. The feelings would strike like a hammer to the heart and I couldn’t bear it, not now, not yet. Celebrations mean nothing without him.
For fifteen years I had a father. It was in my sixteenth year that he was snatched away.
Uninvited Guest by Alessandra Thom, age 11
This has got to be the best party EVER!!!!!!!!!!!
I look out of the window and see Jennifer sitting on the street, looking dejectedly into her hands. I creep outside and place a piece of cake next to her.
“Happy birthday,” I whisper…
Past x%x Present by Amber Kirk, age 11%
There was another ring on the doorbell.
“Funny,” I muttered. “We’re not expecting anyone else.”
Then my heart stood still. It was my Dad. Standing there, rain dripping down his face. Or it could have been tears?
It all went black. And then there was a thump as my head hit the floor…
The Dream by Aubree Frost, age 9
Suddenly, I woke up screaming. It had been a dream… I was lying on my bed in my party clothes breathing rapidly.
I glanced at the clock. I was already 20 minutes late. I struggled to stand up and hurried over to my jewelry box to get my earrings. When I opened my box, the crystal of the heavens from the dream was staring at me.
Birthday by Emma McEvoy, age 12
I finger combed through my blond wig once more, my silver bangles glittered and jingled on my thin arms. I tucked the fake but stunningly realistic hair behind my ear and for the first time in months, felt comfortable in how I looked. I was ready. It was my fifteenth birthday, and my sister had decided to organize a party for me. I stepped out of my room and walked down the stairs. A Black Eyed Peas song blasted over my parent’s CD player. I felt a burst of confidence as I walked into my living room which was full of people, some dancing, other chatting, eating and laughing…
Highly Commended: These readers made the (very long!) shortlist and all showed real talent and promise…
Abby Nesarasa, Aimee Watts, Alice Currie, Aliii, Alisha Lisle, Amber Kirk, Amarina Nhaynes, Amaranta Zephyr Amelia Jones, Amy, Amy Milner, Amy Weever, Angela Lau, Annie Bird, Anny Park, Ashlee Brown, Ashley V, Becky Parker, Bethany Carter, Bethh Oliver, Beth Robbins, Bianca, Brogan Hurst, Cara, Catherine Beltran, Clemmie Alexander, Claudia, Charlotte Hobbs, Charlotte Joiner, Cherise O’Meara, Chloe, Chloe Malcolm, Chloe Mcconnell, Chloe Reeton, Chloe Shaw, Clarissa Wright, Daisy Cross, Danielle Pharoah, Deirbhilem, Dolapo Okunuga,Eilidh Macleod, Eilidh Robertson, Ella, Ella Durant, Eleanor Jane Chapman, Ellen Thomas, Ellie Wilson, Elissa Mceleney, Emma Bairstow, Emily Ashwell, Emily Hawkins, Erin Harris, Esenya M, Eva Salani-Bates, Ffion Cartwright, Fiona Jayne Bowler, Fiona Wilkes, Freya Dolman, Gaby Heaton, Gemma Lawson, Geraldine, Greta Pine, Hannah Smith, Harriet Cherry, Heidi Shepherd, Isobel Calisse, Isobel Chandler, Isobel Mackay, Izzy Paterson, Jayd Johnson, Jenny Goode, Jessica S, Jess, Jess Hanson, Jessy Read, Kat Daborn, Kate, Kathryn, Katie Daly, Katie, Katie Mcdowell, Katie Milton, Keira, Kim C Martin, Kiri Johnston, Kirsti-Mai, Khulood Fahim, Kirstie, Laura Broadberry, Laura Esteve, Lauren, Lauren Simpkins, Lauren Wesley-Smith, Leah Markey, Lilli, Lily, Lizzie Skinner , Logan, Lois Euden, Louise, Louise Mayes, Lucy-May Dettmar, Madeleine Murphy, Maebh Mc Carthy, Maggie Hablous, Marianne, Maryam Zahid, Mary, Maya Claridge, Megan Cuthbertson, Megan Gardiner, Melissa King, Mia Ibousi, Michaela Moriarty, Millie Caunce, Miryam Lightbody, Mollie Darking, Molly Mann, Morgan Trueman, Myra Pierce, Natasha, Neelambari Sharma, Neve, Nicole Padua, Nina, Olivia Tuck, Orlagh Mc Closkey, Orlagh Nolan, Paige Bell, Paula, Polina Bishenden, Poppy Stevenson-Hanns, Rachel, Rachel Farrell, Rachel Strachan, Rebecca Grosvenor, Rebecca O’Driscoll, Rebecca, Reigan Miller, Romany Anderson, Rosie, Rosie Teasdale, Ruby Kirwan, Sabina, Sabina Khatun, Samantha Bakewell, Sarah Brown, Sarah Castle, Sara Mcginlay, Scarlett Bennett, Shannon Brewer, Shannon Fergus, Shanon O’Donovan, Shelby Sutterby, Sian Gilbert, Sophie Bass, Sophie Kamlish, Sophie Korolewicz, Stoem Cook, Tahira, Tan Yee Lin, Tara Martin, Teagan S,Teagannn, Tiegan Walker, Victoria, Yasmin Hudson, Zahra, Zoe Screti, Zoe,
Commended: The following readers sent in entries which caught my attention for originality, imagery or style… well done!
Aasha Chauhan, Abbie, Abigail Hancock, Abbie Ayinde, Abigail Slater, Abbie Lincoln, Adele Mccafferty, Afra Salimee, Aishah Shahban ,Alexandra, Alexandra Brand-Wood, Alexis, Alisha Davies, Alice, Aicha Thomas, Aisha Yekini, Alice, Alice Brooks, Alice McCall, Aimee Guilar, Alyx, Amber, Amber Chapman, Amber Slade,Anfal Khaliq, Amber H, Amber Rose, Amisha, Amy Innes, Amy Connolly, Amy Clarke, Amy Dawson, Amy Nugent, Amy Parsons, Amy Rawlings, Anna, Anna Laurence, Anna Nuttall, Anasthasia Harris, Annabel, Andrea Tully, Annie Richardson, Annie, Antonia Healy,Amy Gilgeous, Aoife Boyle, Aoife Stones, Aqsa, Ashleigh, Aasha Chauhan Ashleigh Morton, Ayesha Haque, Aysha Hanif, Bailey Tucker, Berenika Murray, Beth, Bethan, Bethan Wiltshire, Bethany Dunn, Bethany Reay, Bianca Smulders, Bola, Brigitte, Bridget Malia, Briely, Bryony Robins,
Caitlin, Caitlin Biwer, Caitlin Mcsherry Catherine Eckersall, Carla, Carly, Carmel Clark-Lewis, Cecily, Chantelle O’Donnell, Charlotte, Charlotte Turner, Charlotte Murden, Charlotte Hayden, Charlotte Newman, Charlotte Rhodes, Chloe, Chloe Edwards, Chloe McGlynn, Chloe Hughes, Chloe Pitney, Ciara Nolan, Ciara Mc Cabe, Clara Nevin, Clarey Ince, Clare, Claire, Claire Nelson, Cloe Chapman, Corrin, Clark Stewart, Coral, Courtney-Jade Hughes, Courteney Bailey,Danii Reid, Darcy, Denize, Devashree, Dizzy,Eilidh Shearer, Eleah, Elissa Mceleney,Ella Jones, Ella Brown, Ellen, Ellen Mcnaught, Ellie, Ellie Guy, Ellie Ricketts, Ellie Storey, Emily, Emily Fowler, Emma, Emma Bradtke, Emma Gilliland, Emma Pearce, Emma Preston, Emma Richardson, Emma Snow, Emma Sudol, Emily Hamer, Emily Daly, Emily Francis, Erin, Erin Gallagher, Esther Vincent, Eve K, Eyerusalem,
Fardowsa, Fallon, Fateha Kahar, Fehintolu Osibeluwo, Fery, Floor Hitzert, Fran, Francesca Hake,
Gabrella, Georgia, Georgia Booth, Georgia Griffiths, Georgie, georgina flavell, Georgina McGuigan, Georgia Riches, Georgia Thomas, Georgia Wallace,Georgina, Georgina Bickerstaffe, Georgina Day, Geraldine, Grace Mc Mahon, Gracie – Lou Pettican, Haili Xie, Hajar Abdullah, Haleema Sadia, Haleema, Halisah Mahmood, Halz, Hannah, Hannah Bradley, Hannah Curtis, Hannah Daniels, Hannah Gilchrist, Hannah Jones, Hannah Morrow, Hannah Naylor, Hannah Rouse, Harriett Lewis, Heather Wilson, Henrietta, Hilda Idegwu, Hrishikaesh,, Hollie, Holly, Holly Roberts, Holly Volkmer, Holly Wilkinson, Hope, Imogen, India Schanzer, India, Isabella, Isabelle Mallory – Samways, Isla, Isobel Calisse, Isobel Pearce, Izzy, Jacinta Russell, Janita, Jade, Jade Smullen, Jemima, Jemma, Jenna Marion Dyckhoff, Jenny Rogerson, Jenny Goode, Jess Hanson, Jessica, Jessica Allen, Jessica Broley, Jessica Corrie, Jessica Tinwin-Smith, Jodie Johnson, Jojo, Jordan, Judith Logue, Julia Nijhof, Juny Maria Jose,Kate, Kate Yates, Kathleen McNally,Katie, Katie Blaney, Katie Bradshaw, Katie Danks, Katie McKenna, Katey, Katja Allison, Katja Morris, Katy Murray, Kayla, Kiara, Kimberley Robinson, Kira Dowie, Kira Phillipou, Kirstie-Louise Mather, Kirstie, Kirsty Williamson, Kirsty Mc Menamin, Kohneshia Wall, Lacey Hughes, Lailla, Laura Courtnage, Laura Guiver, Laura Phipps, Laura Quigley, Lauren, Lauren Barry, Leah Auty, Leah mc loughlin, Leah Ingle, Lian David, Linda Zou, Livvie Clark, Lizzie, Lorna-Beth Rice, Louise Campbell, Louise Cox, Lucy Satterthwaite, Lucy, Lucy Gray, Lucy Wilson, Lydia, Lydia Middleton, Lyndzi, Luisa Fenech,
Maddie du Boulay, Madeleine Clegg, Maddie Warne, Maddy Gimore, Madeline Trevethan, Marelle, Maddie, Jeffrey, Mairead, Mariam Shafi, Marie, Marilena, Martha French, Martha Morris,Mary, Maya Haddley, Megan, Megan Braley, Megan Coote, Megan Mumby, Megan Murray, Megan Siarey, Megan Stanley, Melissa, Melissa Chapman, Melissa Rowe, Mia Sutton, Mia Thompson, Michele Theil, Michelle, Milly Coote, Molli, Molly Cavell, Molly Edwards, Molly Piper, Morgan-Beth, Morayo Adesina, Muireann, Munadiah,Nadia, Natasha, Nadia Patel, Namisha, Natasha Johnson, Nawal sari, Navprit Kaur Kingra, Nazish Ali, Neelambari Sharma,Niamh, Niamh Barton, Nickell, Nickell Ngome, Nicole Cannon, Nida Naqvi, Nina Cisneros, Nyasha Torero,Octavia Andersen, Odette Hornby, Olivia, Olivia langfordOlivia Milne, Orla Kinsella,Paige Connolly, Pallave Sivapalasinkam, Paulina Szymanska, Pheobe, Phoebe Harris, Phoebe Stevenson, Poppy Watkins, Poppy-Breeze Brice,
Rachel, Rachel Cox, Rachel Newnham, Rachel Noble, Rachel Prohazka, Rachel Mitchell, Rabea Ahmad, Rebecca, Rebecca Anderson, Rebecca Jayne Barrett, Rebecca Benger, Rebecca Ellis, Rebecca Houghton, Rebecca Rumsey, Rebecca Pierson, Red Lindup, Renee Russell, Riian, Rina, Robyn Barker, Rojeena, Rockstar, Roshane, Róisín Spriggs, Rosalie Wlliamson, Rosie Allen, Rosie, Rosie Caulkin Rosie Walsh kirk, Mottram, Rowan Marie Pritchard, Ruth Teal, Ruth, Sabaa Mahmood, Sabina, Sadia Butt, Sadie van der Bruck, Sadiyah Naeem, Sabrina Afsar, Saffron, Samantha, Sammie, Saneea Zahir, Sara, Sarah, Sarah Bailey, Sarah Gaye, Sarah Jordahl, Sasha Kearney, Sasha Kamlish, Sehar Raza, Shaeleigh slater, sahba, Shannon, Shannon Fergus, Shannon Buck, Shannon Hasan, Sharnai Gayle, Sharon Gao, Shaznay, Shelby Gibbs, Seirian De’ Rome, Sinead Mc Kenna, Simran Nerurkar, Sinead Mc Kenna, Siobhan McKeogh, Siren, Siyba Aris, Skit, Sky, Skye Kane, Skye Stevenson, Somerset Crocker-Hulse, Sophie, Sophie Aitken, Sophie Anderson, Sophie Collis, Sophie, Sophie Doyle, Sophie Dupuits, Sophie Linnane, Souhaa, Stella Acott, Stephanie Smith, Sunna Mahmood, Susie, Sydnee Nossent, Tamzin, Tara-Dee Lehman, Taylor Chappell, Taylor Wilkes, Teagan, Tia, Tia Charlton, Tiffany, Tinu,Tolu, Tosin Sonubi,Victoria Munro, Victoria Thomas, Vivien, Will Moore,Wong Xiao Ying,Yazmin Boag, Yinka, Zara, Zhara, Zahraa, Zhivana, Zoe Zampini, Zoe, Zohra Belmokhtar
Well done to all other entrants… and better luck next time. Think you can do as well? Take a look at the new writing comp… what are you waiting for?
xxx*
